My Short Short for the Day

“Well folks, get out your sunscreen and shades as we’ll be hitting record temperatures throughout the area today.  In Wiscasset, it’ll be in the high 90s.  Over in Woolwich, we’re looking at a high of 100.  And down at Bailey Island you can expect a high of 95.  So, stay cool folks and keep the ice box well stocked.  Back to you Bryant.”

Roger smiled until the camera panned away, then he took his mic off and headed to his office to get a bottled water.  Whew!  I sure hope my air conditioner is working.  He said between sips.  The air conditioner in his office was blasting a chilly stream of cool air in his face.  Of course the studio had to have a solid air conditioning system to protect the equipment.  Maybe they wouldn’t mind if he hung out here all day.  It might not be so bad.  He smiled and leaned back in his chair putting his feet on the edge of his desk.  Ah, this isn’t bad at all.  But then he suddenly felt a weird itchy like tingle in his side.  He scratched at it assuming it was a bug bite, but he felt a good size lump there.  He sat upright and ran his hand over the area again.  The bump was bigger.  It hadn’t been there this morning.  It hadn’t been there a few minutes ago.  What was going on?

The itchy tingle grew and so did the bump.  He stood up and tried to push the bump back in.  Within seconds the itchy tingle was gone but in its place was a new, adult sized, flesh and bone arm just below his right arm.  He stared at it for an exceedingly long time, finally uttering, “What the heck!?!”

My Short Short for the Day

Tom slumped into his chair dropping the empty cash box onto his desk.  “That was a fail.” Tom grumbled running his hands through his hair and sighing loudly.  It was such a solid plan, especially because he looked much older than 15, or at least he thought so.  But the Dean caught wind of his scheme and ended it.  Fortunately, he was able to avoid getting expelled.  Being a child prodigy had its perks, sometimes.  Well, now he was flat broke and no way was he going to call his parents to ask for money.  Then he’d have to explain what happened and that would not end well.  So, maybe he could borrow from Jeff, the only guy he actually considered a friend.  Or maybe…

The phone rang breaking into Tom’s wallowing.  “Yeah?”

“Is this Thomas Sampson?”  The voice was deep and very business like.

“Yeah, this is Tom.”  He said with mild curiosity.

“We have a job for you.”  The voice stated.

“Yeah?  What kind of job?”  Tom responded wondering which guy might be pranking him.

“We will discuss that in person.”  The voice said.

“Well, I don’t know.  I’m kind of busy right now.”  Tom thought that maybe it was Allen from his Psych class.

“No you aren’t.  You’ve completed your exams and will be starting winter break tomorrow.” The voice stated matter of factly.

“Oh, yeah, well.  I’m not looking for a job.”  Tom pushed the nervousness from his voice.

“You are broke and have no money to buy a cup of coffee let alone a ticket home.”  The voice sounded cold.

“How do you know that?”  Tom blurted out.  This was no joke.

“We have been watching you Thomas and we feel you are the right person for this job.”  The voice paused for a moment.  “Be out front of your dorm in 5 minutes.  A limo will be there to pick you up.”

“I don’t know…”

“We will pay you $10,000 to meet with us.”  The voice said.  “If you don’t want the job, then we bring you back to the dorm.  You keep the $10,000 and never hear from us again.”

“Ok.”  Tom said trying to sound casual.

“Good.”  The voice said.  “Be out front in 5 minutes.”

The phone clicked in Tom’s ear.  He sat for a minute with too many thoughts running through his head but then kicked himself into action.  He texted Jeff about the meeting and hurried downstairs.  Little did he know that this meeting would change the course of his life forever.

My Short Short for the Day

It was New Year’s Eve and George was in his dressing room putting on his jacket getting ready to leave for the restaurant.  All the comedians had to share the same tiny, cramped room, except for Al, the star of the show.  Or so he always says. 

“Hey, George.  So, about next week’s show…”  Lou, the manager, was fidgeting with his tie, which was never a good sign.

“Yeah, Lou.  Looking forward to it.”  George forced a smile.

“Well, you see George, we got too many comedians, so…”  Lou fidgeted with his tie some more.

“Oh, yeah.  I heard Al has some other possibilities.  Maybe you could cut him?”  George asked with what he hoped was a winning smile.

“Yeah, well, no, we’re gonna have to cut you.”  Lou dropped his tie and looked at George with pity.  “Sorry man.”

“Oh, hey, no problem Lou.”  George walked over to him.  “Don’t worry.  I’ve got other things lined up.”

“Yeah?  Great!  Good luck to you George.”  Lou held out his hand.

George shook his hand with a smile and walked into the hallway.  “Thanks Lou.  I’ve got big things coming.  Don’t you worry.”

George kept smiling all the way out of the building and down the street.  His ex, Karen, always said he wasn’t funny, and she even said that’s why she divorced him.  What did she know?  She was about as funny as a rock.  Anyway, he still had a blind date to make it through tonight, so he’d better get comfortable with this smile.  Can’t be depressed on a first date.  He must make a good impression, or he’d never hear the end of from his mother.  Her closest friend was a ‘matchmaker extraordinaire’. 

Oh, well, just because his dreams of being a comedian were completely shattered, stomped on, and kicked into the gutter, doesn’t mean the rest of his life is a mess.  Maybe tonight he’ll meet the love of his life.  The woman who will inspire him to become the next great surgeon, or maybe the next hot shot attorney or even better, a flashy movie star with millions of adoring fans and homes in every romantic country of the world.  This could be the moment that changes his whole life.  The start of a new path lined with roses and sunshine and all the wonders of the world….

“Karen…?”

My Short Short for the Day

“How did you keep this hidden for so long?”  Mandy asked.

“Well, when you tell people you work with bees, it’s not a big leap for them to believe that you see them everywhere you go.”  Ally explained.  “So, when I have a hallucination, I just pass it off as me talking to or looking at some bees.”

“Wow.  That’s crazy.”  Mandy shook her head.  “You sure did a good job of hiding it.”

“Years of practice.”  Ally smiled but her eyes were tinged with sadness.  “Ok, here goes.  Wish me luck.”

“Are you sure this is the best thing?  I mean it is the…Devil.”  Mandy paused and touched Ally’s hand.  “I can’t believe this is even possible.”

“It’s the only way, Mandy.  I just can’t do this anymore and maybe, maybe he can fix it.”  Ally slipped her hand away and got out of the car.  She waved and turned away.  She could hear the car drive off as she walked into the building.  She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she walked down the hallway.  It seemed cheerful and inviting.  A little weird considering where she was going, but I guess it made this easier.  If the hallway had been dark and scary, she probably would have changed her mind and ran out.

She reached the door at the far end of the hall and stopped.  Again, she took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.  She raised her fist to the door and knocked.  Almost instantly, the door opened and a voice floated out to her.  “Come in, Ally.  I’ve been expecting you.”

The voice did not sound particularly frightening, just kind of deep with a bit of a lilt to it.  She walked into the room and the door closed quietly behind her.

“Come, sit down.”  The voice came from across the room.

Ally sat down on the soft, red velvet chair nearest the desk.

“As you probably guessed, I’m the Devil.”  A figure stepped from the shadows, reaching his hand out towards Ally.  “Shall we begin?” 

She shook his hand and nodded.

“Excellent.”  The grin that spread across his face was wickedly mesmerizing.

My Short Short for the Day

Today is going to be great, Ed thought as he carefully trimmed his superb mustachio.  A little wax and perfecto!  He smiled in triumph.  He put on his suit coat, straightened his tie, and picked up his briefcase.  As he strolled down the sidewalk he waved and smiled at everyone.  The sun was shining, the skies were clear, and he had finally solved his case.  His private detective business had been doing alright, but now, with this case solved, his reputation would be set.  Everyone would turn to him for help.  He would probably have to hire an assistant.  He smiled to himself as he walked through the door of his client’s skyscraper building. 

“I’m here to see Mr. Banner.”  Ed said to the secretary.

“Yes, of course.  Have a seat and I’ll let him know you are here.”  She smiled and picked up the phone.

Ed nodded and sat down.  He pulled out his puzzle book and started working on Logic problem #4.  He had just about finished writing out the solution when the secretary motioned for him to go in.  He hurriedly tucked the puzzle book and paper into his briefcase and stood up. 

“Ah, Mr. Jones.”  Mr. Banner motioned to a seat across the desk from him.  “Thank you for coming in.”

“Thank you.  Well, as I said on the phone, the case is solved.  I have all the information you need right here.”  Ed opened his briefcase, pushing the puzzle book aside and pulling out a manilla folder.  “Here you go sir.”

Mr. Banner took the file and flipped through pausing to read the pages.  He was about to close the file when he pulled another page from underneath it.  “What’s this?”  He skimmed the page and paled.  He pushed a button on his phone and barked for his secretary to send in Ray immediately.

Ed sat up, caught off guard by the sudden attitude change.  “Uh, sir.  Is everything ok?”

Mr. Banner was about to talk when Ray burst through the door.  “Ray, look at this.”

Ray skimmed the paper and looked at Mr. Banner then at Ed and back to the page.  “Is this accurate, sir?”

“Yes, call the Secretary of Defense right away.”  Mr. Banner stood.  “If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Jones.”

Ed stood.  “But sir, I…I...”

“Yes, thank you for your hard work.  My secretary has your payment.”  Mr. Banner was walking Ed towards the door.

Ed looked back at Ray who had set the paper on the desk to dial the phone.  He could see boxes on it with names, times, and lunch orders in columns.  It was his Logic problem #4 solution.  “Uh, sir, I just…”

He tried to move back to the desk, but Mr. Banner blocked his way.  “Thank you, Mr. Jones.  You have served your country well.”

“Thank you, but that paper is my…”  Ed reached out towards the desk, but Mr. Banner was strong and guided him out the door.  “That’s my puzzle…”

“Good day Mr. Jones!”  Mr. Banner said with a curt smile then shut the door.

Ed stood still, trying to decide what he should do when he overheard Mr. Banner speak.  “Yes, we have confirmation of the impending invasion.  Contact the President immediately.  There’s no time to waste!”

Ed eased himself away from the door.  This can’t be good, he thought.  Well, he’d better get his check to the bank before they figure out that it was only a solution to Logic problem #4. 

My Short Short for the Day

Spot knew he could never show his face in public again.  What a disgrace!  He dropped his doggy bed into the bathtub and walked back to the living room to retrieve his chew toys.  But worse, it wasn’t even his fault.  He was an innocent in all of this.  It was that new dog, Rufus, who caused all the problems.  Spot dropped his favorite chew toys into the tub then went to the kitchen to retrieve his food and water dishes.  He set them on the bathmat.  Rufus should have been fired!  He was the one who tripped the craft service person, who then tumbled into the extra, who stepped on the foot of the camera man, who yelped and jostled the camera hitting the boom operator, who swung around and hit the  spotlight with the mic, which crashed to the floor scaring the daylights out of the lead actress.

It was chaos on the set and Spot had been patiently sitting off camera next to the craft service table waiting for his daily treat from Alice when this all happened.  Rufus had tripped the craft service person and kept running so by the time things settled down, he was all the way across the stage.  Spot immediately went to Alice to lick her face and check to see if she was ok.  Unfortunately, everyone looked over and saw Spot there and assumed he had caused it all.

Spot was scolded and his trainer quickly took him off set.  Spot was so ashamed, but it truly hadn’t been his fault.  No one would believe him, though.  So now he was going to live in the bathtub forever.  He would never leave it again!  Ever!

“Spot?  Where are you?”  Lilly called out to him.  Spot’s tail started to wag but he quickly remembered that he was a bad boy.  His tail drooped and he put his head down on his bed.

“Spot?  Oh, there you are.”  Lilly came in and paused for a moment looking at all of Spot’s items around the bathroom.  “I know you’ve had a rough day, sweetie, but it’ll be ok.” 

Lilly sat by the tub and stroked his head.  “I just got off the phone with the director and he wants you to come back tomorrow.  Alice told everyone what happened.  They know it wasn’t your fault.”

Spot lifted his head and stared at Lilly.  Did she mean it?  He was a good boy now?

“Yes, Spot, you are a good boy!”  She gave him a hug and Spot let his tail wag super fast.

My Short Short for the Day

“As your Mayor I vow to…”  No, no, that doesn’t sound right.  How about “I am honored…” No, no.  Maybe “I vow to earn…”  No, no, no!  John slammed his notepad on his desk.

“How’s the book coming along?”  Alice asked with a smile walking over to her husband and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. 

“I can’t seem to find the right tone.”  John fidgeted with his pencil.

“Well, maybe you should take a little break and come back to it.”  Alice sat casually on the soft, leather sofa.  “Your brother’s still in town for another day.  Go spend some time with him.”

“Maybe your right.  Tommy’s always good for a laugh.”  John had barely finished his sentence when his office door flung open.

“Sorry Mayor, but I thought…oh, Mrs. Carte, I didn’t know you were here.”  Bill stopped short and nervously looked from Mrs. Carte back to the mayor. 

“Oh, don’t worry dear.  I was just leaving.”  Alice stood gracefully, glided over to her husband giving him a kiss on the cheek before flashing Bill one of her dazzling smiles.

Bill blushed but quickly regained his composure.  “Sir, you should see this.”  He held out a large manilla envelope.

John opened the envelope and pulled out the papers inside.  He quickly skimmed the pages, then looked at Bill.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ve checked and rechecked the records as well as doing some research online.”  Bill stated.

“But it’s impossible.  How can it be?”  John started to pace.

“I don’t know, but there’s no other explanation.”  Bill fidgeted where he stood.

“That would make him over 100 years old!”  John stopped and stared at Bill.

“Actually sir, according to these records, he would be over 350 years old.”  Bill held out another sheet of paper.

John took the page and turned as white as the paper.  “350…but how?”