My Short Short for the Day

 “Uh, Vlad, is that a baby?”  Alaster kept his distance from the squirmy being.

“Yup.”

“Why is it here?”  Theadora asked leaning over the bundle.

“It’s a souvenir.”

“Why would you choose that?  What about those little statues of the Leaning Tower of Pisa or a decorative spoon or…”  Alaster moved so that Theadora was blocking his view of the infant.  “…or a tee-shirt.  You know, something normal.”

“What do you want it for?  Eww!  What is that smell?”  Theadora plugged her nose and quickly moved to the other side of the room.

“I’m starting to feel old.”  Vlad began.

“But you’re only 400, still quite young in vampire years.”  Theadora said.

“Yes, but recently I’ve started feeling old, out of touch with the youth of today.”  Vlad lifted the baby and in a few swift movements had changed the diaper, moved to his chair, and began to feed it.

“How did you learn to do that?”  Alaster asked moving slightly closer.

“Before I was turned, I used to have several younger siblings which my mother needed me to help with.  I learned all the basics.”  Vlad moved the baby to his shoulder and patted its back.  “It’s like they say with riding the bike.  I had done it so much that everything is coming back to me so quickly.”

“We can’t keep a baby here.”  Theadora pouted.  “We won’t be able to have any fun anymore.”

“That’s why we need to hire a nanny.”  Vlad stood and gently placed the baby in the crib then picked up the paper and held it out to the others.  “See, I put an ad in the paper and we should be hearing from someone soon.”

“Wait, we’ll have a human living here?”  Alaster couldn’t conceal his shock.

“Yes, and they will be off limits.  Understand?”  Vlad gave both a frightening look.

“Yes!”  Alaster and Theadora said in unison both taking a few steps back.

Just then the doorbell rang. 

“That must be our nanny!”  Vlad smiled as he swept out of the room.

“A baby?”  Alaster stared down at the squirmy being.  “What was he thinking?”